i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
