Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
