I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
tequila makes me forget i have legs
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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