And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
