hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
