I think scott just propositioned me for sex
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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