the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
