If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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