In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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