nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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