She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
