ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Everything about him screamed your future.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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