He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
And my parents said I crawled through the house
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
