i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
