I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Are my feet made of real feet?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
