just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
