I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
