He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
