The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
