I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
