New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
