I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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