My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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