3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
