Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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