He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
