I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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