i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
