We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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