Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
