You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I think people are normalizing furries
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
