just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
