Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
