can u get pink eye on your cock?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
