you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
