So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
