Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
