In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
