Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
