TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
