No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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