you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
