I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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