you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
