Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
