woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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