I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
