i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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