apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Randomize
