i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
