Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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