remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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