Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
